


File Titled: Delete

by suncherry



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Yearning, kenma has a cat tho, reincarnation tbh, someone dies and it’s not the smaller two of the three, sorry Kuroo, the ending is horrible and rushed I’m sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24037102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suncherry/pseuds/suncherry
Summary: Kenma pushes themself away from their desk and stumbles to their room, passing by the black cat who stared with large green eyes.“What do you want, K?” Kenma mumbles, squatting down to give him attention. “You wanna cuddle?” The cat places his paw on Kenma’s knee and Kenma smiles. “C’mon then.”
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Sawamura Daichi, Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi
Kudos: 34





	File Titled: Delete

Kenma sighs, fingers clicking around at their desktop aimlessly while their chat spams questions that they said they would answer. They weren’t doing too good at the game chosen by viewers last night so they decided to just chill with their fans but that wasn’t clicking either. 

“Tonight’s not going too good guys, I may just sign off early...” Kenma watches as the chat spams even faster with mixed reactions. “I know, I’m sorry, not feeling it today... I’ll see you guys next week, there will be a highlight up on the channel on Friday, so I won’t be gone for too long...” Kenma says their usual goodbyes and cuts off the stream. 

They look back and check how long they had tried before evidently leaving. Thirteen minutes. They were on for not even half an hour. Kenma falls back in their chair, breathing out slowly. They knew why they weren’t doing well today, it was proven in the date shining at the top of the monitor. 

It was just past the midnight mark, exactly 13 minutes past. 

Kenma presses their palms against their tired eyes, they could feel tears start to give through. After taking their hands away, they take a deep breath and stare at their phone. They promised they would call. They can’t break this promise, definitely not this one. 

They grab snatch their phone quickly and scroll for a moment. Finding the contact needed, they press on it and raise it to their ear. It rings for a moment before the click tells them someone picked up. 

“Hey, Kenma,” The man’s voice was rough and thick, it sounded like he had screamed for hours. 

“Hey, Daichi, how’re you doing?” Kenma asks, their voice quiet. They didn’t know how to go about this. Daichi knew how Kenma felt and that alone made them nervous. 

“I’m... coping,” Daichi pauses, glass clicking in the background told Kenma what they really needed to know. “Unhealthily.” Daichi sighs, pausing. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable, it felt like an agreement. “How are you doing? I saw you were streaming a couple minutes ago?” 

Kenma cocked an eyebrow. They weren’t aware Daichi had notifications on when Kenma was live. “Yea, I was supposed to earlier but Hinata had gotten a hold of me and I was late and then I tried streaming but I guess I just...” Kenma pauses, their voice lowering to a shaky whisper, “knew.” 

“Other than that I don’t know how I’m doing really... It’s been two years and I really can’t let go...” Kenma wipes a hand down their face, staring at the file on their desktop titled: delete. 

“Me neither, Ken...” Daichi mutters, he’s silent for a moment. The two of them thankful for the company of someone going through the same thing. “Do you wanna come over today? I don’t want to be alone and my roommate is—“

“Yea...” Kenma winces, not enjoying how fast they answered. “I can come over at noon—or earlier if you want company sooner?”

“Noon’s fine, I need to sober up and clean anyways. Thanks for calling, Kenma, I appreciate you checking up on me. I was gonna call but I thought you were busy.”

“No it’s fine, I was planning on calling after the stream either way. Take a shower, I don’t wanna get there and it smell like whiskey.” Daichi chuckles, nodding along to Kenma’s wish. 

“Yea, I’ll do that now, it’ll sober me up. I’ll see you when the suns up.”

“See you.”

Kenma keeps the phone to their ear for what felt like hours after Daichi hung up but when they checked the time it was only five minutes. They kept their eyes on the file again, knowing that if they checked it, it wouldn’t end happily but wanting to remember the good things instead of the horrible ending. 

Kenma leans forward, double clicking the file and holding their breath. Tears started pooling the moment the first picture loaded in. They race to click on it, not wanting to be overloaded too quickly. 

It was a photo of a photo: Kenma and Kuroo covered in mud. Kuroo was holding a volleyball and smiling as wide as he could while Kenma was wincing beside him. Kuroo had taken a picture of the photo and sent it to Kenma when he was going through albums with his dad. It was nostalgia in a book. Kenma couldn’t make it then, they regretted choosing a meeting over it because of jealousy. 

Kenma clicks on the arrow to show the next picture. Kuroo was hanging off of Daichi, who was red and bent in laughter, while Kenma and Hinata watched with smiles on their faces. Kenma breathes out a small laugh. They had drank a little too much and Kenma found out they could only be outwardly confident if tequila was involved. It was Daichi’s birthday and Kenma almost didn’t go, not wanting to see Kuroo and Daichi hanging off of each other like always, but Hinata had promised to stay by their side and distract them when necessary. 

It hurt then, but looking back now, Kenma regretted letting jealousy dictate their friendship. 

Kenma clicks on the next button again, holding their breath. It was a photo of Kuroo hugging Kenma from behind while they looked at a game console. If you didn’t know any better, you would assume they were dating. 

Kuroo is—was touchy. He liked hugs and holding hands and platonic kisses. All things Kenma had let happen because it felt good to be loved and appreciated. But, then Daichi came along and Kuroo spent a lot of his time giving him attention instead of Kenma. Kenma didn’t like that but couldn’t say anything, knowing the difference in what Kuroo was doing to Daichi compared to everyone else. 

Kuroo had liked Daichi from the beginning and Kenma could only watch as the person they liked for years fell for someone who lived over two hours away. 

It didn’t take long for the two of them to get together and Kenma was left with short hugs because Kuroo felt odd about giving other people affection when he was actually in a relationship. Kenma didn’t know how many nights they cried because they felt lost with no one to hold on to. 

Clicking off to the next picture, Kenma clenches their jaw. 

It was a photo of Kuroo telling Kenma about his engagement. Kuroo was grinning and showing off the ring on his finger and Kenma was staring at it with an almost blank look, their jaw dropped slightly. It wasn’t a shock, Daichi and Kuroo were far too good of a couple to not get engaged but Kenma didn’t expect for the news to hit them as hard as it did. 

Kenma was pretty sure they cried for weeks after that. And even more on their wedding night. And as time went by in Daichi and Kuroo’s relationship, Kenma branched off and tried to ignore that they were together. 

It hurt too much seeing constant posts about each other online so they deleted their Instagram account. They muted both Kuroo’s and Daichi’s accounts on twitter. Kuroo only called once or twice a week and came over for lunch sometimes. Their friendship became dry. It hurt them both. 

Kenma remembered when Daichi texted them to come to the hospital. It was a horrific day. Kuroo was on his way to speak to Kenma about their weird relationship, wanting to become close again when a car drove in front of him. They tried everything to save Kuroo but they couldn’t fix what had happened but they could keep him alive long enough for final goodbyes. 

Kenma was stoic when they stepped into the room to see Kuroo strapped to so many tubes and wires. Half of his head had been shaved and stitches proved that they had tried. Kuroo was strong enough to squeeze Kenma’s hand back when they said “I love you”. Kenma finally cried next to Daichi when they pulled the plug, the monitor screeching. 

Daichi and Kenma stayed at each other's places after that. They found comfort in having someone that was close to the person they loved. They spent hours talking about everything Kuroo did. From childhood stories that both of them already knew, to the relationship stories that Kenma ignored. It hurt but it helped. 

Kenma pushes themself away from their desk and stumbles to their room, passing by the black cat who stared with large green eyes. 

“What do you want, K?” Kenma mumbles, squatting down to give him attention. “You wanna cuddle?” The cat places his paw on Kenma’s knee and Kenma smiles. “C’mon then.”

Sometimes, Kenma thought that the cat was a reincarnation of Kuroo. They had gotten him as a comfort animal a year and a half ago when he was a kitten. K wanted attention all the time: interrupting streams, running in between legs, waking Kenma up while standing on their chest. But, K also helped Kenma through panic and stress and tears. Kenma would find K pawing at Kuroo’s old Nekoma jacket that Daichi had given them, knocking it down and curling up on it. K also loved Daichi, playing with him as if he were a dog and rubbing his face into Daichi’s. It was little things that made Kenma wonder if Kuroo wasn’t all that gone.

**Author's Note:**

> the ending was rushed and abrupt I’m sorry


End file.
